Career day (spin the bottle)

well I remember it vividly
it was my first day of school
I was barely seven years old
it just so happened
we had a substitute teacher
the original was out with a cold
in an atempt to get us
to know eachother
the teacher suggested a game
and he gathered a bottle
from a shelf on the wall
and he emptied it out in the drain
the he sat us all down
in a big old cirlce
and he started explaining the rules
said i'm gonna spin this bottle
around and around
and whom ever the bottle may choose
must stand up in front
of the rest of the class
and tell us his future plans
what do you wanna do
when you're old
if you only had the chance?
well he laid that bottle
square on the floor
and he gave it a mighty twirl
we all stared at it
in silent amazement
as it honed in on this really pretty girl
legs shaking
she stood up and said
I'm dreaming of beeing in a quire
this other guy proclaimed
he wanted to be a fireman
and save people from fires
around and around
that old bottle went
picking out future careers
until it finally came
to a rest upon me
and I stood up and faced all my fears

I sang

when I grow up I wanna be evil
when I grow up I wanna be mean to animals
when I grow up I wanna be Fritzl
when I grow up I wanna be just like Hannibal
when I grow up I wanna beat women
when I grow up I wanna be ultra-violent
when I grow up I wanna eat children
when I grow up I wanna be so malevolent

well I'm glad to say
that as the years went buy
my desires and wishes matured
and after ten years of therapy
the doctors proclaimed
I was finally and fully cured
so the day came
that I'd been longing for
when the asylum was gonna set me free
and as a special surprise
and a final gift
they did something special for me
from a shelf on the wall
they gathered a bottle
of heavily sedative pills
and they sat all the loonies
in a big old circle
and questioned us all bout our thrills
what do you wanna do
when you get out of here
with a future so bright and so strong
well the bottle began
it's old spinning routine
it made me wanna burst out in song
clenching my fists
I eagerly awaited
my chance to set the record straight
to clear my reputation
and get a new chance at life
to declare my will to be great
but first there was Willie
and old Howling Pete
howling bout the cuckoo's nest
well they had to sedate
that old friend of mine
they needed to run some tests
when the game started over
and the humming commenced
the bottle came to rest upon me
I stood up and cleared
my rusty old throat
I was as happy as happy can be

I sang

when I get out I wanna do torture
when I get out I wanna be just like my old man
when I get out I wanna reign terror
when I get out I wanna be leader of the clan
when I get out I wanna build A-bombs
when I get out I wanna bomb half a continent
when I get out I wanna fight terror
when I get out I wanna be elected president

so they set me free
on the streets of texas
said it's sure been a pleasure George
be sure to send our
love and respect
to that lovely father of yours
so no I'm in office
atleast for a while
and I've learned my lessons well
at my desk in the whitehouse
I keep an old bottle
condemning poor people to hell